In one of my ‘cleaning’ session (yalah, a stay-at-home-mum must do some cleaning mah..), a thought suddenly occurred to me. I was struggling to fix back the stand fan after giving it a thorough cleaning, and I was having such a hard time. I had to figure out what fit where, so that everything sits in nicely. I almost gave up, and was going to just say “ What the heck, leave it to hubby, afterall it is his forte.” But I gave it a few more go, and there it goes, I can do it too. Who says women can’t dabble in technical stuffs?
Well, I was not going to ramble on about the fan, I just suddenly thought the reason why I have that inclination to put off trying. My hubby is the type of person who would come to my rescue, every time I can’t fix anything in the house be it the breadmaker, the curtain railings, the computers, my handphone etc. So, I had actually become over-reliant on him and always take the easy way out! (It is not really a bad thing though since it makes him feel useful! Ha!)
Anyway, I figured the same thing must be the reason for my daughter being too dependent on us. Since I was working most of the time, (before I quit my last job) I naturally always have that guilt, that I never spend enough time with my kids, so all the more I push myself to be the perfect mummy (almost impossible) , trying to achieve everything at home after office hours. I would do the house-cleaning, the laundry, the cooking, the homework coaching, exam mugging etc etc. So, I guess I was trying to be there every time my kids need me. I would be beside her whenever she has problems in her homework (in between laundry task. Familiar for some mothers out there?), reminding her about spellings, or ejaan for the next day, checking all her books to ensure no homework is left undone etc. I guess she had become over-reliant on me, so much so she doesn’t do her own scheduling or planning.
Now that she will be stepping into Standard Two next year, I guess I will have to let go gradually. Parents have to learn to let go as their kids grow up. (heard this somewhere). I will need to sit her down one day (when the mood is right) and try to tell her this. I will give her the due freedom she needs, but in turn, she needs to understand that she has to take responsibility in her own daily life!
So much for the fan!
Well, I was not going to ramble on about the fan, I just suddenly thought the reason why I have that inclination to put off trying. My hubby is the type of person who would come to my rescue, every time I can’t fix anything in the house be it the breadmaker, the curtain railings, the computers, my handphone etc. So, I had actually become over-reliant on him and always take the easy way out! (It is not really a bad thing though since it makes him feel useful! Ha!)
Anyway, I figured the same thing must be the reason for my daughter being too dependent on us. Since I was working most of the time, (before I quit my last job) I naturally always have that guilt, that I never spend enough time with my kids, so all the more I push myself to be the perfect mummy (almost impossible) , trying to achieve everything at home after office hours. I would do the house-cleaning, the laundry, the cooking, the homework coaching, exam mugging etc etc. So, I guess I was trying to be there every time my kids need me. I would be beside her whenever she has problems in her homework (in between laundry task. Familiar for some mothers out there?), reminding her about spellings, or ejaan for the next day, checking all her books to ensure no homework is left undone etc. I guess she had become over-reliant on me, so much so she doesn’t do her own scheduling or planning.
Now that she will be stepping into Standard Two next year, I guess I will have to let go gradually. Parents have to learn to let go as their kids grow up. (heard this somewhere). I will need to sit her down one day (when the mood is right) and try to tell her this. I will give her the due freedom she needs, but in turn, she needs to understand that she has to take responsibility in her own daily life!
So much for the fan!
No comments:
Post a Comment