Perseverance

I must quickly jot this down here, before I lose the formula (like scientist only hor...) Oh, you see, my specimen is one of the most stubborn species who will not budge or listen and I think this type of species is going to extinct soon. And this is what makes it all the more dear!

Anyway, yesterday, after many years of trying the old formula, I actually embarked (actually after many days of tolerance and deep breaths) on a new method. So, again, she did a slugglish attempt at her BM homework. For that, came more "+ve encouragement", more Maths sum. She budged reluctantly and came back with 8 out of 10 incorrect answers. I gritted my teeth. What should I do? No ugly scene. So, I let the specimen grind herself on the sofa and she continued her whining with promises of 'no TV, no computer games, no anything!' She persevered, I did too!

Then, this morning, I told her "no TV time today because you didn't finish your Maths yesterday". I got the younger brother to tone down his TV volume. She whined somemore. I explained coolly, how she should do her Maths questions, "With your heart" and after that you can join your brother. And I went off with my chores. And when she was done, I was pretty proud to say, she got them all correct! I showed her the comparison with yesterday's work and she seem to understand that there was no need to fight a losing battle.

So, persevere. Hope I need not resort to this again and hope my dearest princess can go back to the sweetie she was 2 days ago without me having to use this formula at all. The key word, right time, right mood, let's persevere on the right note!

Life's dream

I am in some sort of phase where I realise that all the while, I have been living for others. My dream actually, consist of my kids and family only. I never thought about what I really wanted.You are right, it takes a lot of courage to do it all. You think you can't, you have no time, what about work, what about money, what about family etc. If only, u can just do it! I like Nike for that!

But anyhow, if we do a good job at everyday life, never sorry for what we do, isn't that already an achievement in itself? Lead an honest life and you will find fulfillment naturally?

I salute the people (the Tzu Chi volunteers, my Round Table 'xue chang', the volunteers at the children homes) who can be so selfless and be able to contribute time, money, to help others, and this they do it at their own free will. These people help others and at the same time, this is their own dream. Is it not wonderful to be able to fulfill both this way!

Well, we try our best when we are in this world. In the end, it is our own life and what we make of it.

To let go or not

When I share my problems relating to my kids, people often say and advice, “It’s time you let go and give them space.’’ This is one difficult question. Most of the time, it is easier said than done. So, to what extend do we let go ?

At work, I can make hundreds of decision so naturally. But when it comes to your dear ones, you fear the consequences and whether you made that right decision. Maybe to some of you out there, it is simple, but to me I find it really tough deciding whether I should check my daughter’s homework. Or if whether if I check her homework, and find out that she made mistakes, should I point out to her? Or l should I let her learn a lesson.

I think there is no right or wrong and there is no definite answer to this. Maybe if she checks her own homework, she will learn to take charge and be more responsible. Maybe if she is corrected by the teacher, she realizes how grave are her mistakes and why she needs to buck up. The “maybes” can go on. But since I have done one way for so many years and it didn’t work out for my daughter, why not I try another way.

Bah! I will just follow my instinct. In the end, I know I love her and I also want her to be happy. Ultimately, what do I want? Does it matter? It’s her life, I will just lay it in front of her, but she decides for herself. What if she make the wrong decision? Well, with a heavy heart, we observe from the sidelines and try to offer her support as best we can. I will make sure she knows Mummy loves her no matter whether she knows her multiplication tables or division sums. If she stumbles, it is still not the end of the world. The sky still has not fallen.

So, this morning, I took the first step (or second?) I let her decide whether she will do her Maths/ Chinese. She cried and threw tantrum, I kept quiet and hugged her, and told her Mummy loves her. She still wouldn’t budge on her maths. I told her firmly, tomorrow you still have to do it. So, is that “letting go or not”?

Expectations and Love

Maybe the expectation I have for my kids are a bit too high. When I look back, I think I have been too good a girl to really enjoy my childhood. I tried to think my memories of the past, I can only see myself being the goody girl, always finishing my homework (so that I can read my favourite stoybooks), finishing my revision, getting good grades etc. I did remember playing hopscotch, teng-teng, zero point, galah etc though.

I think with that, subconsciously, I have high expectation for my kids, esp. my daughter. I need to learn to remember that each invidual is different, and for that Wen is one unique individual who has a very strong attitude.

And to that, since everyone leaves this world eventually, why not we try to make our life better. Let's try live life so that when it is that last moment of our lives, we can tell ourselves, that we do not have any regrets in life. I will like my love ones to remember me for my goods and not for the bitterness. And I shall persevere for myself and my family.