Life is a tightrope!

Life

"We are visitors on this planet. We are on here for ninety or one hundred years at the most. During that period, we must do something good, something useful  with our lives. If you contribute to other people's happiness, you will find the true goal, true meaning of life. "

                                                                            His Holiness The XIV Dalai Lama

How true that few sentences are! I have this phrase hung in my house, but everyday, we just walk pass it without much thoughts. In the past weekend,  I dwelt on it from differently  and thought how wise the Dalai Lama is.

Last weekend, was a sad and solemn weekend for all of us in the family, because my dear aunty (who had been battling with cancer for the past five years has lost the battle). She passed away after much pain and suffering on Friday morning. I wished it was much easier for her. But anyway, I pray and hope she has a better after-life now. And the living will always have her in memory.

I really reflected a lot on life in the last weekend. Life, people relations, goals, happiness, karma etc. It may be difficult to put them in writing, but I hope to capture some of my thoughts here.

Our lives might not be even ninety or hundred. It is highly likely to be shorter than that, taking into account the mortality rate in the current years. In the conduct of our everyday life, we might encounter some negative thoughts. What should have been done/should not, like/dislike someone or what someone else does, dwelling on your neighbour's rights/wrongs, gossips on friends or relatives etc. If we can use mathematics to put some numbers to all these, you imagine how much of time or effort they take up from our relatively short time on this earth!

We have also come across many different types of people in the course of our life. Their life story can be lessons to us. Every human being choose to live their life differently. It is not our perogative to criticise or to say, what is right or wrong and we should never dwell on them. Rather, we would reflect on our own life and improve ourselves further. How certain things happened ot turned out for these people around us, are due to their own karma, and how they handle things is also due to their own encounter or experience.

What matters, is our ultimate goal in life, and how we can make this life more meaningful  and how we can say, at the end of our life, that we have no regrets for the path we took, for we ourselves are responsible for our own lives.

One day, it will make a difference!

Much as I like to do good deed, I must tell myself this very important discovery. Firstly, we must be able to let go. This means, after we tried our best to help others, be it counseling, giving advice verbally or giving financial aids etc., when we go back home, it is time for us to let it go.

Genuine people who can lend a helping hand should not ever get emotionally involved. Previously, on several occasions, I used to get worked up if people do not take my advice or others seem nonchalant on some matters you advice and think it good for them. I will complain to my husband, and in the end, get all emotional about it.

Now, I am able to 放下, right after the deed is done. No haste, no chase, it does not matter if advice not taken, it does not matter if good deed not appreciated. It only matters, if one have good intention to make a difference. One day, it will make a difference!

Deep one

It’s been so long since I last blogged. Perhaps, because I had too much thoughts to sort out.

All this time, I have only put the family on top of my priority list. Suddenly, I am thinking to myself, what do I do for myself? What do I do for myself? All this time, dare not think too much what I want to do, because always tell myself, ‘no time’.

Maybe I should find something other than work/family. I should start making small steps and accomplish one by one.
To find my answer I must first learn to love myself – do a facial with a fren, perm hair again, ask what I myself like to eat, try to 'siu myself', so that I don't get agitated by the kids, make healthy recipe for the family (oops!, that's not for me again!)

Workwise, I have taken the first step and successfully negotitated for half days with the company, but I have a feeling that this will not last long since the management is at expanding stage and may need individual who can commit more time. Maybe, need to find something else that I can have a small income, be independent, and yet have free time to do what I want.

Could it be, I have a philanthropic heart? Can I be a Tsu Chi volunteer/a social worker who visits the cancer patients? Well, this is a big step, I am not sure if I can do this. I just know that I want to help a fellow being.

Well, my Aunty Peck is fighting a battle after the 2nd operation on Monday. I hope she can be strong enough to overcome the cancer and she can regain her health as she did the last time. It makes me think, what can we do, when we are still healthy and able? Can we make a difference to another person's life?