Appreciations

My girl has been bringing lunch boxes to school on the days she needs to stay back in school, since last year. SRJKC schools have extra classes for students in Std 5 and 6 three days a week and students in Std 4, 5 and 6 have activities day once a week.

So, I will normally have to make preparations on the night before, wake up at 5 am and cook rice or noodles with dishes for lunch to be in time for the kids to bring to school, as the school bus comes at 6.15am. Starting this year, my boy has to stay back in school every Wednesday for activities. So, he was very excited and kept asking me what was I going to prepare for his first lunch in school (this was in Feb, I think)

I have written previously about how different are my 2 kids. My girl begin the non-expressive person, have not much comments on the food I prepare except if she thinks it is too much and she cannot finish them. Even if it is yummy, she will only comment if I ask her how she likes the food.

But with my boy, he anticipated the first ‘lunch’ day and in the morning, he peered into the wok and after finding out what I prepared, he exclaimed in a very happy voice, “ hmmm…. Smells so nice, what if I cannot stand it, and eat all of it even before lunch!” This was for their favorite chicken curry dish I cooked with fried egg, veg and rice. And later, after school, he mentioned, “I even let my friend try, so that he will envy me….”

So, it is all these simple things that makes me feel all the warmth and makes it worth the while. I bask in glory, by simple gestures like this, and I feel so fulfilled , looking at their beaming faces, while appraising my cooking. (of course, there are some downsides, when some cooking are not to their liking - I encourage them to give constructive comments too , if they do not like certain cookings). Even my girl now, is more expressive, since the other day, she told me she enjoyed her lunch , even though she was just at the gate, after returning from school!

So, here’s to many more cooking mornings!

Christmas wish

Saturday (25/12)

 

(Note the dates, due to delayed postings)

Merry Christmas! We don’t actually celebrate Christmas, but we only started off the day, with a hearty breakfast of eggs/otak and bread (the kids’ fave!)

In the afternoon, we visited my aunty who is suffering from cancer. This is her fourth relapse, and we are praying hard, that she can make it this time. The CT scan last week showed a large mestatic growth on her liver, though she was in remission after the operation of the intestine more than half a year ago. So, now, after her 1st chemotheraphy, she is very weak, and have bouts of pain which she can hardly bear. I wish she has more courage to fight the disease and the pain. But I guess, it really takes a lot of will power to do that. There is not much we can do, just be there wherever we can, to spend more time with her. Many of my relatives are cheering her on including my parents, who are there almost everyday. My mum would labouriously cook her favourite food, and I know, my aunty is grateful for that, although she can hardly eat a few mouths due to poor appetite.

So, anyway, Om Mani Padme Om… I really wish it is less painful for her and please take this suffering away from her. Yes, this is my Christmas wish!

And, I think we must all appreciate our lives and be grateful for the healthy and happy life that we have.

Trip to Kota Tinggi Waterfall

We spent the past few days leisurely with the family and friends. I should say, it was good time spent.

Last Friday, we brought the kids to Kota Tinggi Waterfall. Some might say, what’s so nice about this “ulu” place? Anyway, it is special for the kids, since they like to explore esp. my daughter who takes to climbing rocks like she has scaled many mountains in her last life. This time, is also special, because we brought along John’s nephew, who is only 5 years old. It is like we have 3 kids all of a sudden. We try to treat him like our child because this poor kid’s mum has left him (his parents are the couple we tried to counsel and are separated).

So, we started off with a good deed in mind, but at the end of the day, both my husband and I concluded, that someone else’s child is just not the same as your own child. It is not easy to teach/handle him because the upbringing is different and you just can’t scold them in case, they brand you as ‘bad aunty’ or throw tantrum until it is out of your control.

So, just try your best, with your most genuine heart, as long as they are happy. That is all that is important!

Be thankful!

Sometimes, the slightest thing can make us grumble, a little comment from your co-worker can provoke us and spoil our whole day, a little mannerism  problem from the kids can set us off . Well, let me tell you, and you know it, it is all not worth it. At the end of the day, we tell ourselves, why did we waste our time, our energy, our youth, our previous feel-good moment on matters as trivial as it could be.

If only human being have a sense of gratitude, we will all be happier. Be thankful for a brand new day that we are able to breathe, that we are able to carry our day-to-day routine, appreciate the flowers that grace the roadside, enjoy the coffee smell from the kopi tiam, or even the cute pup who sometimes make you laugh with their silly antics.

We should focus on what is right today, rather than what irritated us, or who or so-and -o has done or has not done etc.  We should all do this; take a moment during the day, to jot down three things that happened today for which we are grateful.  Why was it good? Who played a role  in what you recalled, and how it impacted your life?  At the end of the day, we will be thoroughly thankful with what we have, the friends we met, the time we share with our family and in turn we will try to spread this good feeling and love to the people around us and make sure they also feel the same.

Holidays!

We had a fun weekend, bringing the kids and my parents to Lost World, Tambun and then a detour to KL before coming back home yesterday. The kids enjoyed themselves thoroughly at the Petting Zoo and of course the water park. Seeing them so happy, I felt that this is how life should be. All else does not matter much, but the laughter and smile on eveyone's face and the time spent in each others' company was so priceless. Alas, we forgot out camera and only had some taken with our handphones but the memories etched deep inside me. Hope it is the same for mum, and dad, John and the kids.

Though there were slight bickerings between the kids and a tyre puncture too, all else was well and it was a perfect holiday. Hope the others (bros) can join us the next time!

It made me reflect and think, 'aren't we lucky to be able to enjoy this simplicity of life?'

Misunderstood!

The day started off quite badly today. I might have been right at the onset, but I delivered it quite badly, and in the end, I was in the bad light.

Looking at myself in the past few days, there are things that happened which I could have just stopped myself, and things would not turn sour. It is because of my actions that made me misunderstood. So, let’s try another way. No action, no response when you are not in control. Only say or act when you are more in control of yourself.

Sometimes, action can be misunderstood. So, I shall tell my kids and John more that ‘I love them’ and hug them more. Do not ask for reciprocal love. Just love unconditionally.

To let go or not

When I share my problems relating to my kids, people often say and advice, “It’s time you let go and give them space.’’ This is one difficult question. Most of the time, it is easier said than done. So, to what extend do we let go ?

At work, I can make hundreds of decision so naturally. But when it comes to your dear ones, you fear the consequences and whether you made that right decision. Maybe to some of you out there, it is simple, but to me I find it really tough deciding whether I should check my daughter’s homework. Or if whether if I check her homework, and find out that she made mistakes, should I point out to her? Or l should I let her learn a lesson.

I think there is no right or wrong and there is no definite answer to this. Maybe if she checks her own homework, she will learn to take charge and be more responsible. Maybe if she is corrected by the teacher, she realizes how grave are her mistakes and why she needs to buck up. The “maybes” can go on. But since I have done one way for so many years and it didn’t work out for my daughter, why not I try another way.

Bah! I will just follow my instinct. In the end, I know I love her and I also want her to be happy. Ultimately, what do I want? Does it matter? It’s her life, I will just lay it in front of her, but she decides for herself. What if she make the wrong decision? Well, with a heavy heart, we observe from the sidelines and try to offer her support as best we can. I will make sure she knows Mummy loves her no matter whether she knows her multiplication tables or division sums. If she stumbles, it is still not the end of the world. The sky still has not fallen.

So, this morning, I took the first step (or second?) I let her decide whether she will do her Maths/ Chinese. She cried and threw tantrum, I kept quiet and hugged her, and told her Mummy loves her. She still wouldn’t budge on her maths. I told her firmly, tomorrow you still have to do it. So, is that “letting go or not”?

Just Do It!

Life decisions are often difficult to make. Sometimes, after we have taken the plunge, we think back and may start to waver. This is made worse when we start pondering the consequences of our actions. Whether it may be for better or worse, sometimes only time will tell. At times, some of us may tend to be affected by what others around us might comment. Or what others may innocently blurt out as passing remarks may make us think and lose sleepless nights.

Anyhow, whether the decision is to make sacrifice of one’s career opportunities for the sake of one’s children or family. Or to make a career switch that is the total opposite of one’s original vocation, one should be truthful to one self and ask some of these questions:
- What are my personal priorities?
- Will I be happier staying at home, with the kids, spending my time understanding their temperament, be there for all the tantrums, homeworks and spellings, hugs and kisses and of course be able to proudly say, “I manage the home well” (never ask for perfection though)
- Will I be able to work at home and be financially independent too? (In Malaysia, this aspect is a bit tough and many mothers are trying hard to break into this trend since society/employers are not supportive of flexi hours, or work-from-home arrangements. I am still trying!)
- If I switch career, what do I like doing most and yet, I can support my current lifestyle? Do I have sufficient knowledge in the field which I am going to pursue? And the ultimate question, will I be happy?

Sometimes, these questions cannot be answered once and stay stagnant. We might change our thinking or opinions as time progress. Maybe in a year or two, when a good opportunity turns up, or when the kids get a hang of school life (no need for mummy to keep tabs on schoolwork) or when it gets plain boring at home (with no topics to blog about!), then it is time to move and make that life decision again. Maybe that decisions may also change in a week or two!

The essence of it is, we make out what our life is, and we face the consequences. There is no need for us to bother what others do, usually do, should do, or will do. Just do it, and just do it our way!